Originally published on Substack, April 29, 2023

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This week, I’ve decided to go with simple topics, like the nature of God, Poetry, and the Divine Presence in my life. With humor and all in one place.

But let’s start with a fantastic discovery.

I’ve always wanted theme music. Growing up, it seemed like every celebrity had a theme song: Jack Benny had “Love In Bloom,” Bob Hope had “Thanks For The Memories,” The Three Stooges had “Listen To The Mockingbird,” wait, have any of you ever heard of any of these guys? Google them.

When I did radio in college, I opened every show with Booker T. and the MG’s “Green Onions” because I’d been nicknamed “Onions” in Junior High. I closed every show with Hot Lips Page’s “Got An Uncle In Harlem” because I love that song. I had an uncle in Bensonhurst, but there was no such song.

A week or so ago, I was listening to novelty records as is my wont (again, fancy writing worthy of a donation, hint hint) when I came upon my theme. It expresses a lot of who I am. I don’t do a podcast anymore, or this would be the opening music. Feel free to listen now or as you continue reading:

I hope you like that. I edited out the orchestral part.

Fair enough. Stay with me on this.

I don't observe National Poetry Month (April) because anytime I write a poem, it’s Poetry Month around here. So there. I do want to share a great piece of doggerel with you that I heard many years ago. It has informed my spiritual life ever since. I don’t know who composed it, and I may have mixed up a word or two, but here it is:

All of my prayers have been answered,
Though some of the answers were slow,
But all of my prayers have been answered,
And most of the answers were “No.”

As one who has done my share of ‘foxhole praying’ (Please get me out of this one, God, and I’ll never do it again), I recognize the futility of treating the Divine like a vending machine. I believe that God sees a bigger picture. They’d better, or we’re all screwed. (I really wanted to say, “He’d better,” but I’m dipping my literary toe in the 21st Century).

So now I try to accept the ‘yes’s, the ‘no’s, and the ‘not yet’s. As someone once said, “Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.¹”

God’s presence in my life varies. I’ve heard Hinduism described as a monotheistic religion with a hundred gods. Not entirely true; I think there are more than a hundred. I see the pantheon as aspects, facets, rather than separate entities, like the holy trinity, but a bigger number. What do I need God to be today? What am I asking for? Understanding and strength? Most days, yes. There’s a god for that. Enough abundance to get through the month? Too often. There’s a goddess for that. They’re all one energy, all one Higher Power, but I am limited and like variety.

You’re not a Hindu? Fair enough. In 1952, J.B. Phillips wrote a short book entitled Your God is Too Small, a message to Christians who tend to see God as binding and bound, what my wife Lillian calls “God in a box.” That’s also what I’m talking about.

Atheist? I once read a quote in which the eminent theologian Harry Emerson Fosdick told a young man who claimed atheism, “Perhaps the God you don’t believe in doesn’t exist.” If that’s confusing, let it marinate in your brain pan for a bit.

We miss the messages because we don’t recognize the messenger. If you say that God speaks to you, some people will see you as a candidate for a rubber room, others may see you as a prophet, and most will ignore you. But God does speak to us through other people, in books, in conversation, and even in comedy.

I think the secret is to pay attention. There’s a lot to be said for doing what we’re told, but I know I’ve got to be careful about listening to that inner voice: it may be coming from the little red guy with horns and a pitchfork.

So what’s the conclusion? Judaism says I shouldn’t speak the name of God, while Hinduism says I should chant God’s name all the time. Christians kneel, Jews don’t. Buddhists bow a lot, and Muslims genuflect and prostrate. Am I supposed to think God cares, or is God just entertained by all the sit, stand, kneel, genuflect, prostrate, sit-cross-legged-on-the-floor? Sorry if that’s too irreverent for you.

Do you want to know what I think? I like what my teachers say: find a practice and stick to it. Take it seriously, but for God’s sake, stop taking yourself seriously. G.K. Chesterton said, “Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.”

Feel free to argue in the comments.

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